Penny Candy

Madonna’s entire new album just went up on her Myspace. Boy am I glad I didn’t buy it. I couldn’t even get through the entire 12 tracks without skipping. Then there’s Justin Timberlake chiming in on random tracks with, “Hey Madonna! Madonna … Madonna…” I know who she is you fool. Knock it off.

I’m just so disgusted with the formula that you only have to have three good songs on an album. Your singles are all that count, the rest is drab and nobody ever mentions it. You might as well just buy singles. You are rarely ever missing anything. You never hear (especially Madonna) that you have to get the album because there’s this song that is just awesome. No. Never. Any song on her albums that is worth listening to will become a single.

My favorites are Candy Shop, 4 Minutes and … I can’t even pick a third. This album sucks. It’s like American Life, but at least American Life had meaning to it. What really bites is that this one will sell millions because it sounds like American Life but has less meaning to it than a ball of cotton candy.

Reading the comments on her Myspace I see these kids saying they’re saving up for the box set. Suddenly I am my mother yelling, “Don’t spend your allowance on that trash!”

Madonna lost it after Erotica. She lost it so bad that it scares me because that means people who are really adventurous all stop venturing after so long. Fucking boring.